Straw Ban Bingo Card

I thought that with all the exhausting Straw Ban Discourse, with everything from repeated questions about paper straws to outright eugenics, we might appreciate a bit of levity. So I made the following Straw Ban Bingo Card.

It’s the unending WAVE of the same questions when multiple articles and threads and charts have covered these exact points that is what is so exhausting about The Summer of the Straw Ban. This bingo card is intended for levity and to relieve some of the pressure and fatigue of disabled activists.

If you’re disabled, you may want to skip ahead to the chart. If you’re an abled person reading this and you still have questions about straw bans, or why we need a bingo card, the below is for you:

I would like to note that taken individually, Not All of the responses are necessarily problems. I mean, people can be disabled and care about the environment at the same time. We can care about sea turtles and ocean plastic without banning the thing disabled people need to drink. That’s…kind of the point of why disabled people are mad about straw bans.

On Twitter recently, Alex Haagaard wrote an excellent thread about the ways disabled people are often good for the environment.

Alex has been so compassionate and thoughtful despite the fact that the other day Alex made a thread about how maybe we could ban grass lawns instead of straws, and received a wave of harassment by people who said that Alex hates trees or something. For the record, grass lawns are bad for the environment.

I encourage you to check out the thread and responses, as well as this article by the wonderful Alice Wong that closely matches my own experiences with the Summer of the Straw Ban.

Probably people are going to be upset about the bingo card, especially because I mentioned the turtle. The turtle is suffering! The turtle is not a microaggresion!

But pro tip, if you’re talking about disabled people needing hydration and you link that turtle photo out of the blue, you’re kinda saying the turtle’s life matters more than disabled lives? And subjecting disabled people to gore? And maybe — get this — maybe the turtle’s life and disabled peoples’ lives are both important. Shocker.

With that being said, here is my straw ban bingo card and transcript :


Transcript of straw ban bingo, from left to right, top to bottom, with an asterisk between each horizontal line on the bingo card:

“whatabout reusable straws”

“but paper straws –“

“but metal straws–“

“silicone straws aren’t expensive”

ignore science on recycled plastic being bad for oceans


“who needs straws to drink”

mention your disabled family member

mention your disabled friend

“The Disabled”

mention sea turtles


“maybe they just didn’t think about disabled people”

“why can’t you just bring one with you”


talk over disabled people explaining CripTax

“but the oceans”


“we picked plastic straws to ban because it’s fun and frivolous”

ignore that washing straws is labor

ignore that reusable straws get contaminated


ignore corporate waste


“I didn’t think of hot beverages”

mention feeding tubes

“I’m tired of talking about straws”

“go seek medical attention if you need a straw to eat soup”

“every little bit of plastic waste counts”

* For a transcript of the above chart, please see :

If you wish to use this chart, please feel free. If possible, give credit, but more importantly please link to this post or my blog (it will be hopefully pinned to the first page once I remember how that works), so that screen reader users can access this chart.  

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